Just a little test drive

Dear Chicago,

You know what I'm tired of? The new iPad Pro. I mean honestly, how many iPads does this world need? And like, is the previous iPad not a pro? Was it an amateur iPad? Did we call it the amateur iPad? Did they know it was the amateur iPad? Was it advertised as such? How is that supposed to make the people who have the older iPad feel? Probably like they bought a phony.

Mostly I'm over the iPad Pro because of the commercial advertising for the iPad Pro. You've probably seen it a thousand times- I know I have. I'm over it because it features a mother friggin preying mantis and girlfriend you know how I feel about that bug- it's the devil's bug. Get thee under my feet, Satan!

In this commercial, some poor little hipster-looking girl with glasses (I think she has glasses- they usually have glasses) takes a close up photo with her iPad Pro of this most repulsive not to mention dangerous bug.

First of all you're an idiot, little girl because that's an iPad and you look stupid using it to take a picture. Second, I hope you have your affairs in order because that bug is going to eat you and you are going to die.

Great. Now I'm all itchy. For my own sanity I'm gonna need to move on.

Yesterday little C asked me to help her write her Christmas lists. She was writing it herself and then she sighed real big, handed me her notebook and said "Caitlyn, can you write this for me? I can't write fast enough and then I forget what I want!"

What a problem. Wish I could forget what I want that easily. So anyway, we made all sorts of lists. Lists for her family on each side, lists for her teachers, lists for her family who are teachers, lists for her siblings, and a very long list for herself.

"Caitlyn, what do older teachers like?"

Maybe books? Or school supplies? Or a candle?

"I'll think about it and get back to you."

So while she was thinking, I wrote down a list of things I want for Christmas and she thought maybe I should add a boyfriend. So in the spirit of Christmas I was all- okay fine. And then I asked her the best way to get a boyfriend...

"Just find a boy you liked in school and tell him that he's your boyfriend. If that doesn't work, then I would set up like a lemonade stand out where everyone can see and put a BIG sign on it that says 'I want a boyfriend' and that should do the trick."

I told her I was uninterested in her dating advice. She rolled her eyes and told me to write down calendar for her teachers. And pointer.

Today was also pretty chill. Little W and I started off our day eating lunch together because I started a little later today. While we ate lunch she requested that I show her pictures of "my people". So I opened up my photos and started to show her pictures of Iris and Shasta and my family, etc. etc. etc. At one point I showed her a picture of the four of us sibs and she looked at it and said "Oh, your people! And look, there's Karen!"

Karen?

"Ya. Karen. With the *motions hand back and forth across top of forehead aka universal symbol for bangs* and the black hair- you know".

You mean, Mary Catherine? Miss Hall?

"Yeah but I decided to call her Karen. All day."

So you should know that I've added Karen to the list of names you'll be expected to answer to in the future. I'm not really sure where Karen came from, but you should know that regardless of what your name is, little W will always associate you with bangs and black hair.

Our afternoon was also chill. We played barbies which was exciting. Like, real exciting. At one point Ken became a monster. And then Ken was going to take a shower but when he was fully undressed little W decided that monster Ken was A LOT scarier without his clothes on so instead of showering he just started doing monster things. Naked.

She's still so innocent so I just went along with it. But seriously. Naked Ken monster. I cannot.

We also had a lot of nighttime/morning times and so each morning the rooster had to crow and the rooster says "cockle-doo doooo" without warning.

So she'd say "nighttime"...... *quiet, quiet, quiet* COCKLE DOO DOOOOOOO *at the top of her lungs.

Shout that real quick and tell me you didn't laugh at yourself. Cockle doo doo. You're welcome.

Her sis came home early today so naked Ken monster and the rest of the Barbie game kind of died quickly. Little C was super funny too. She ran into the house, shouting about how today was her favorite day in the world. Why was it so favorite? Because... because.... well she couldn't remember but it just was really good.

Her mom was cooking food for tomorrow's Thanksgiving feast and so the house smelled really good. Little C was pumped. She kept shouting "IT SMELLS SO GOOD. IT SMELLS LIKE HEAVEN. CAN WE EAT IT NOW? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT TIL TOMORROW?"

And then she came out of the kitchen, threw herself onto the armchair with her hand on her forehead and she exclaimed, "THAT SMELLS SO GOOD, I JUST WANT TO SCOOP SOME OF IT INTO A BOWL AND TAKE IT FOR A TEST DRIVE."

Scoop some of it into a bowl, and take it for a test drive.

Yes, lawd. All the test drives.